Where Were You The Night Of...

Every message we hear tells us that we can (probably) keep our kids safe and drug free if we simply talk to them, know who their friends are, listen to our kids (really listen, not just listening with one ear), set clear rules and consequences, praise good behavior, and eat dinner together. Sometimes it iseasier said than done. I saw a quote the other day, which of course I can't find now. The general idea was don't get so caught up in raising good kids, that you forget that you have good kids. I thought about it and I do get caught up in correcting the bad behavior and not praising enough of their good behavior.

I also have boys, which I have been told don't like to talk to their parents as much as girls do, especially as they get older. I'm trying to encourage my boys to tell me about their day and answer questions while they are still young. I figure that if I get them used to talking and answering questions now, it won't come across as interrogating them when they're teenagers. I came up with a list of questions: 

• Who has been your favorite teacher? Why?
• Do you remember your dreams? What was your favorite dream?
• What do you want to be when you grow up? 
• What don't you want to be when you grow up?
• Is there something you wish Mom/Dad did better?
• What is your favorite thing Mom/Dad does?
• Why is the sky blue? (This is especially fun to ask the kids that are always asking you why and what questions!)
• If they don't know, ask them why they think the sky is blue.
• What is the nicest thing someone has said to you?
• What is the nicest thing someone has done for you?
• What is your favorite time/part of your day?
• Where have you always wanted to go?
• If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
• Who is your favorite classmate? Why?
• Who is your least favorite classmate? Why?
• What is your favorite class?
• What is your least favorite class?
• What are the five best things about you?
• If you were sad or having a bad day, what dinner would cheer you up?
• If you could change three things about yourself, what would they be?
• What are the five best things about Mom/Dad?
• If you could change three things about Mom/Dad, what would they be?
• What makes a good friend?
• What is the best thing we have done as a family?
• What is the thing you have done that you are most proud of?
• Have I ever not noticed that you were upset or sad? What are some of the things I should look for, so I know when you are upset?
• Has someone ever hurt you that you didn't tell me about?
• What is your best memory?
• What is your first memory from when you were little?
• What is the coolest thing you have seen? What made it the coolest thing?

You could learn a lot about your kids by asking them questions. For example, they might not like math class because they mix up 2 and 5. They might have trouble in school because they are getting headaches and need glasses. You can also think of it as your performance review, just like at work. Kids, especially young ones, are usually brutally honest. You might find out things that you can work on too: maybe they think you yell too much or spend too much time at work or on the computer. 

Let them turn the tables on you and ask you questions too!

LINKS:

Center for Missing Children

www.theantidrug.com