Things Kids Say

Ok, so some of you might remember my  Things I Never Thought I'd Say post. This is the kids version. Sometimes my kids say things that just make me laugh.

No Nakie Boy picture,
but this is his other
super hero outfit

• Today Higgins asked if we could go to a golf course one day (big fan of put-putt). Bernardo replies, "Yeah. I know how to play golf. You just whack a ball into a hole."
• Octopuses are cool; they pee in the ocean.
• I nakie boy! (Said while standing completely naked in traditional super hero pose: legs apart and fists on hips.)
• Mommy, those cars don't have pants on.
• Mom, can I have some of those packing peanuts to eat? (He meant circus peanuts.)
• As we are leaving the house, the dog tries to come with us. Higgins tells the dog, "No, Dog, you're going to stay here with the toys."
• Bernardo: "Why isn't the store green if they call it Walgreens?"
• Daddy, why are you dressed like a grizzly bear? (My husband came in wearing a brown wool sweater.)
• Mom, can I have some of that old candy you gave us? (I gave them a Bit O Honey bar to share and told them it was an old-fashioned type of candy.)
• Me: "Higgins, did you poop?" (We're potty training.). Higgins: "No." Me: "Someone pooped. It smells like you did." Higgins: "Aunt N pooped my pants." Me: "Aunt N pooped in your pants?" Higgins: "Yup." (Aunt N lives roughly 900 miles away.)
• Bernardo: "I can't wait to be a grown up." Me: "Why?" Bernardo: "So I can stay up late and watch violent movies and drink coffee with Daddy." 
• Crying from the family room....Me: "What happened?". Higgins: "I got hurt.". Me: "How?". Higgins: "...Doing something bad."
• Bernardo: "Mom, I'm gloomy today. That means sad."
• Diaper rash is poopy's friend. (My son's response when I told him if he pooped in the potty, he wouldn't get diaper rash anymore.)
• Thank you doggie for cleaning up my chair. (Aka licking all the spaghetti off that didn't make into my son's mouth.)
• Bernardo, "Mom, does Aunt N have kids?" Me, "No." Bernardo, "Well, I wish Aunt N. would get married already!" (He apparently wants more built in playmates.)
• After reading "George Flies A Kite", Higgins tells me "Mommy, we should get doggie a bunny." I replied, "the dog would eat the bunny". Higgins rebuts, "we could keep it away from doggie". So to clarify, Higgins wants to get the dog a pet bunny that she isn't allowed to see or play with.
• From the bathroom: Bernardo, "Why did you pee on my leg and shorts!?". Higgins, "I don't know."
• Bernardo: "Mom, is the neighbor's kid in Kindergarten or College?" Me: "I think he's at college." Bernardo: "Wow, he must be really old." I must be ancient; I've been out of college for 10 years now.
• Me: "My head hurts this morning." Bernardo: "Why? Have you been using it too much?"
• Higgins: "Ha ha. He's licking his wiener."  



"Ha Ha. He's licking his wiener."